anonymous Funny Status Messages

   to read directions to cook ramen noodles.

   stopped to think and forgot to start again

   still misses someone. But his aim is improving!

   receives sound advice from girlfriends. 99% sound, 1% advice.

   used to live in the real world but he got evicted

   now understands, the reason he cant find his car keys is because he doesnt have a car.

   a pocket full of sunshine.

   Celebrities walk on the red carpet because they're famous, I walk on toilet paper cuz I'm the sh**!

   having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think ive remembered this before.

   training for his fight with Apollo Creed

   not even supposed to be here today

   thinks nothing is better than pooing at work...you're getting paid to poo!

   A Good Source Of Calcium.

   Same Great Taste 40% Fewer Calories, 30% Less Fat.

   met this guy who said he loved children, then I found out he was on parole for it.

   he often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my wife to go swimming.

   didn't go to highschool, he went to school high

   busy fighting all her other personalities Crazy, Neurotic, and Shy on who gets to write the status message today….to be continued

   wondering why retarded people are blissful

   has decided that when I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car