life Funny Status Messages

   I would like to express some thanks to the writer just for rescuing me from this problem. After exploring throughout the the net and obtaining methods which were not productive, I figured my entire life was done. Being alive without the presence of approa

   Has anybody actually gotten salmonella from eating raw cookie dough or are people just trying to stop me from living my life?

   True love means being with someone want to see you get ahead in life by waiting until February 15th to get their flowers in candy at 50% off.

   I must express appreciation to you just for rescuing me from this challenge. As a result of searching throughout the search engines and seeing advice that were not helpful, I believed my life was well over. Existing minus the approaches to the problems y

   Don't celebrate Rush Limbaugh's death. Mourn his life.

   These kids gonna be dumb AF. We never missed these many days of school in our life

   Life's short don't throw, I mean scroll, it away!

   Called my mom to tell her I was stuck in a rut. She yells that life is tough, get on with it & hangs up. I’m now waiting on a tow truck.

   Anyone else impressed with the clown with no life who beefed up his "likes" to over 4,000 over a lame chicken joke. Oh, to be 9 again.

   Life Coach: Get out there and show the world what you’re made of! Gingerbread Man: Not sure that’s a good idea.

   True crime was invented to remind people that life could be worse

   Life is little more than a constant stream of boredom, pain and suffering.

   If you're feeling down becausecoffee your dating life, just remember, Matt Gaetz didn't have a high-school date until he was 38-years old.

   When life hands you Don Lemon, change the channel.

   the coronavirus pandemic taught me that life is short and politicians are willing to make it shorter

   Never once in my life have I ever met a dentist in a social situation randomly somewhere outside of a dentist’s office. Think about it.

   Why do we close our eyes when we pray, cry, kiss or dream? Because the most beautiful things in life are not seen but felt by the heart.

   “midlife crisis” buddy i’m having a whole life crisis

   Sometimes you meet someone, and you know from the first moment that you want to spend your whole life without them.

   A bee is willing to end it’s own life just to cause you a tiny amount of pain. I can relate to that level of pettiness.