life Funny Status Messages

   Ironically, the people you meet by accident are often the ones who become an important part of your life

   Most of my life goals don’t even include me in them.

   My life is stitched together with vices.

   Today I am contemplating how much longer I would live if someone shouted "Run for your life!"

   No matter what happens in life, NEVER give up on my dreams. That is why I sleep till noon.

   I'm at the point of my life where if aliens come, they wont need to abduct me, I'll gladly go with them

   A man who is not married tends to go through life enjoying his life.

   My son found a cassette tape in the basement. It's like watching 2001 Space Odyssey in real life.

   My love life is terrible. The last woman I was inside of was the statue of liberty.

   Switching off my mother inlaw's life support machine was very difficult. I had to fight off a doctor, a nurse and two security guards. Beeeeeeeep

   A sheep spends it's entire life fearing the wolf only to be eaten by the Shepherd.

   I really loved that Stormy Daniels interview on 60 minutes. Best 60 minute of my life!

   Single men: To keep on enjoying your carefree life, never utter the words "I DO"

   remember the time you confused a life lesson for a soulmate?

   You're not satisfied with your life? Complain about it on Facebook, God must be subscribed to your updates

   sometimes people come into your life and they need to stop doing that

   I'm old enough to remember when apparently the worst thing life could hand you was lemons.

   Sometimes I sit down and wonder what kind of life i’d be living if my parents were really rich.

   Listen here, Life isn't measured by how many likes we get, but rather the moments that take our likes away

   Please don’t ask me for advice about life because I will accidentally screw up yours too.