anonymous Funny Status Messages

   needing to be kissed. And often. And by someone who knows how.

   swimming less than 30 minutes after a meal.

   In the chemistry lab, proving that ugliness is more than skin deep.

   poured his heart out, it evaporated....

   never fakes it!

   thinking about sex, every 15 nanoseconds.

   trying to get the taste of last night's date's mouth out of his mouth.

   nourishing his inner child with Cheetos and beer.

   the cause of your drinking problem.

   "We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand." -- Randy Pausch

   "insert clever remark here."

   Save a horse, ride the bus.

   blaming it on the rain.

   optimusly Primed

   will return after a brief word from our sponsors

   getting Jiggy with it!

   To catch me, you gotta be fast; to find me, you gotta be smart; but to BE ME!! DAMN! You must be kidding!

   One man's toxic sludge is another man's potpourri

   only shoplifting discount stores, because jail sentences are based on cost of goods stolen.

   being chased by a hungry pack of wild poodles!