Eddy Funny Status Messages

   if a tow truck hauls an RV, does that make the tow guy a "home-wrecker"?

   i think Hawaiian Airlines should change slogan to "we do wheely well"

   the irony is a group of blacks picked the white cotton guy out.....for life

   you can call me "Han" cause I've been solo for so long now

   I like to be treated like a king... so I thought of going to Burger King & lying about it being my birthday

   it's a little ironic when a gay guy gets drafted to the Rams....im sure he does a lot of ramming

   Mike Tyson , Miguel Olivo .....if the zombies do come, it looks like they're starting as athletes 1st

   sitting here watching "102 Dalmations" & I wonder if Lady Gaga got her fashion sense from Cruella De Vil

   tonight the sky will be like most of my family.....pretty well lit up

   ever wonder if someone trusts you? grab the hammer & say "hold the nail"

   I can't wait until I'm old enough to get my own zombie .......a lot of people at the retirement home have walkers

   I like to buy someone a birthday gift at CVS so then I can make a ribbon out of the receipt ‪#‎recycle‬

   life is just one big mess.....OCD people hate messes....therefore OCD people hate life

   If you mix Jack Daniels with a Smirnoff, are you drinking a jack-off?

   Ebola guy in Atlanta .....if that does end up being an outbreak, everyone will at 1st just think it's The Walking Dead walkers.

   if I hang bat stuff all over my "man cave", will I have a "bat man cave"? .....Alfred, get me a drink

   if people around you are being negative, be extra positive & cancel them out

   Legos are practice for when you get older & buy Ikea furniture

   why don't people do a "taser challenge" next & see what its like for epileptic people to suddenly have your arms & legs moving around uncontrollably?

   the FDA can approve breast implants so why cant they decide that medicinal weed is ok everywhere?.... I haven't seen an autopsy where "small boobs" was cause of death.