Kisstopher Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I admit I am hot, but don't blame me for global warming.
←Rate | 03-07-2012 12:40 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon The guy who invented underwear must have sounded crazy.
←Rate | 03-07-2012 13:30 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon What doesn't kill me, might make me kill you.
←Rate | 03-10-2012 03:42 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon A drunk person is just an awesome version of a sober person.
←Rate | 03-10-2012 04:32 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you watched a movie of my life backwards it'd be about a guy who refills vodka bottles and puts them back on the self.
←Rate | 03-10-2012 05:06 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon For me, the sexiest part of a woman is her mind coz that's where she decides if she's going to have sex with you or not.
←Rate | 03-10-2012 05:14 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Bro she just called you blind! OH HELL NO! Where is she?
←Rate | 03-10-2012 13:38 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon In Whiskey and Women… The young ones are fine, but I prefer the older ones — well aged and full-bodied.
←Rate | 03-11-2012 12:44 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon My homework brings all the Asians to the yard, And they're like "It wasn't that hard."
←Rate | 03-11-2012 22:59 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon RANDOM FACT: Having eye contact for more than 6 seconds without looking away or blinking reveals a desire for either sex or murder.
←Rate | 03-12-2012 14:41 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's okay to laugh during sex, just don't point.
←Rate | 03-12-2012 15:07 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon SWAG is for BOYS and CLASS is for MEN.
←Rate | 03-13-2012 13:28 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon When in doubt, put some booze in it.
←Rate | 03-14-2012 13:28 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon I am not saying I hate you or anything but if you were ever badly hurt and I had the only phone to call you an ambulance I would order pizza delivery first.
←Rate | 03-16-2012 13:50 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon I love driving behind old people. You can get so much done: eat breakfast, lunch and dinner, read a book... write a book, etc.
←Rate | 03-17-2012 12:36 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon A woman drove me to drink, and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.
←Rate | 03-17-2012 12:58 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon I saw these two blind guys about to fight and I shouted, "My money's on the one with the knife." You should have seen how fast they both ran off.
←Rate | 03-19-2012 13:54 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon I know a few women that would be considered very handsome if they were men.
←Rate | 03-21-2012 11:56 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Never compliment a girl on Twitter, she'll reTweet it and make you look thirsty.
←Rate | 03-21-2012 12:00 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Skype Conversations: 5% Hey, how are you? 95% CAN YOU HEAR ME?!?!
←Rate | 03-24-2012 09:12 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  




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