Eddy Funny Status Messages

   I wont be alone on valentines day....I'll be spending it with 127.0.0.1

   Single Awareness Day....this is going to be a S.A.D. day

   my valentine is Manti Te'o's old girlfriend....forever alone

   an earthquake on valentines night....somewhere someone thinks they were great in bed to their lover for a perfect ending on the holiday

   forget Mardi Gras....for me every Tuesday is a fat Tuesday

   for Lent I'm giving up relationships...oh, nevermind, they gave up on me already

   playing Mario & entering the castle.... of course I got a girl on Friday night....forever alone

   a friend's kid accidentally stuck their cat in the dryer. my friend was all sad about it so I sung the sad song....soft kitty, warm kitty, little ball of fur.....the song didn't help at all

   whats the difference between a plane & in-laws? the whole world is worried about a plane when it's missing

   I think Haley Joel Osment should guest star on The Walking Dead one episode..... "I see dead people"

   just call me "Mario" cause I've been looking & looking & cant seem to find a woman either #Nintendo

   redneck version of ChromeBook ....go to the library & get a book....wrap duct tape all over the covers....you chromed your book

   why does the drive-thru ATM have braille?....what blind person is driving a car?

   if someone else is in the picture with you why do some people still call it a "selfie"?....that's a "groupie"

   Easter is coming up soon. the parents with multiple kids are kinda lucky......you'll have more than 1 chocolate bunny in the refrigerator & we know they like to reproduce.....never-ending supply of chocolate

   it's not "stalking" .....it's "starting a secret fan club that only has 1 member"

   a lot of single women claim they're looking for "Mr. Right" so maybe I should change my last name to "Right"......then all these women will be wanting me

   the man in the moon is so embarrassed....look how red he is

   my dyslexic neighbor keeps looking for his god

   if someone is bipolar & bisexual, are they a "quad"?