fadolo Funny Status Messages

   Why dont you ever see people standing on corners holding homeless signs when its raining out.....Cause them muther fckers are at home

   Might have to break down and start wearing condoms. My crabs were just diagnosed with herpes.

   If a car in front of me is driving slow, I move to the side a little so the cars behind me can see I'm not causing the traffic

   Pretty sure I know what my GF is getting me for Christmas. When I guessed, "a threesome?" she got all angry like I'd ruined the surprise.

   Flip flops are fun because every time you take a step it's like a high-five for your feet.

   You can stop lifting weights now; it's actually your personality that nobody likes.

   Food stamps are the new “Hey, I finished SOME community college.”

   I plan on getting "sidewalk nap" drunk tonight.

   Sees you just vacuumed the floor. Opens up a Nature Valley bar.

   I decided to get in touch with my feminine side today. I made myself a sandwich.

   "BasketBall Wives" = A bunch of ungrateful hoes.

   Finally loses virginity. 3 more years left in prison.

   I loveee how my iPhone looks without a case but it's too risky......

   Creates an imaginary girlfriend. She just wants to be friends.

   You had me at let's get divorced.

   Between every cigarette that I smoke, I quit smoking.

   Highways need 4 lanes per side. A Nascar wannabe, a normal driver, an old people who drive 30 in a 70 and a where the hell am I lane.

   Fast way to MESS up someones Knock Knock joke? "It's open."

   People Dont even say grace before meals anymore . They just Hold up Their Phones over the Plate , snap a Pic , & Post it on Ins tagram

   Democracy comes from the word demos, meaning mob a mob in the street is a demos. Ocracy means rule,ur welcome