Joser Funny Status Messages
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Page: 14 of 39
Why do people insist on speaking to me? It pretty much never goes well.
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05-10-2010 14:06 by Joser
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Criticism is the best sign you're onto something.
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05-10-2010 14:06 by Joser
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Dear gigantic flock of birds chirping loudly in the parking lot sh*ting all over my car, There's still more north left... Go annoy Canada...
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05-11-2010 17:16 by Joser
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Playboy in 3-D! Take that, 18 billion hours of free, readily available Internet porn.
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05-11-2010 17:22 by Joser
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Somebody slipped a hangover in my drink last night
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05-11-2010 17:25 by Joser
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Anyone who wastes my time is a clocksucker...
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05-11-2010 17:26 by Joser
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I am anxious about how much Xanax I'm taking.
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05-11-2010 17:26 by Joser
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Do I even want to know how one would contract herpes of the eye?
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05-11-2010 17:32 by Joser
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If it weren't for my feet I don't know how I'd ever shut the car door.
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05-11-2010 17:33 by Joser
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It's a shame how so many of you have such nice, expensive, in many cases even brand new cars and yet the turn signals don't seem to work.
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05-11-2010 17:36 by Joser
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I'm not high maintenance, but rather precious cargo with lavish instruction for upkeep.
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05-12-2010 13:54 by Joser
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you know what works better than a rape whistle? a rape pistol.
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05-12-2010 13:54 by Joser
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Can you imagine how painful walking would be if we all had foot balls?
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05-12-2010 13:55 by Joser
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Cant believe why jews didn't come up with "my mind on my money and my money on my mind."
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05-12-2010 13:56 by Joser
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Do they call him Prime Minister because you can't divide him up into multiple smaller ministers?
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05-12-2010 13:59 by Joser
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Did I ever tell you about my roofer who came down with shingles?
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05-12-2010 14:00 by Joser
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TIP: If you've forgotten your Bluetooth headset, wearing sunglasses indoors is an equally effective douchebag indicator.
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05-13-2010 10:57 by Joser
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Every time I see you falling, I get down on my knees and pray, That somebody puts that sh*t on YouTube, So I can watch it every day.
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05-13-2010 10:58 by Joser
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My coworkers are exceptionally dedicated. You should see how far they'll go to annoy me
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05-13-2010 11:09 by Joser
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Dude you should've seen this bathroom stall, it was like I had to clean up Heroshima before I could drop my Nagasaki.
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05-13-2010 20:36 by Joser
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