love Funny Status Messages

   Women are like puppies, if you hang around 1 for too long, eventually you'll bring it home & it will poop on everything you love.

   Scorpio, Libra, Pisces, Cancer, Virgo, Leo: Selfless lovers. There's nothing they wouldn't do for the people they love. Including hiding a dead body....

   I love food, napping on the couch, and getting super excited about car rides, I'm basically a golden retriever.

   There are a million different ways to say "I Love You": "Put your seat belt on", "Watch your step", "Did you eat?", "Get some rest". You just have to listen.

   Fall in love with someone who makes you laugh or you're be really bored when you're 80 years old, with a broken hip, and sex is impossible.

   The brain is the most outstanding organ, it works 24 hours a day and 365 days a year from birth until you fall in love.

   Shoutout to all the girls who are curled up in a ball in their bed waiting for that goodnight text. Go to sleep, cuz he doesn't love you....

   Chicken is better than that girl who said she will die for you. Chicken actually died for you. Chicken is true love.

   Most people on their 16th Birthday get a car, I got an inflatable dinosaur costume and not gonna lie, I'm in love.

   Ya'll been dating for three days and you're already saying "I love you" = But that's none of my business.

   Dear liver, the weekend is almost over, hang in there little one. Love you.

   If Nutella & marshmallow fluff made sweet sweet love & had a baby,,, I would eat that baby.. The End.

   "The righteous are those who feed the poor, the orphan and the captive for the love of God, saying: 'We feed you for the sake of God Alone; we seek from you neither reward nor thanks.'"

   Trump: I love making people who already hate me hate me more.

   I love Ellen. I'm gonna marry her idk how but I'm gonna make it happen.

   Mariah Sharapova living proof that Russians love to cheat.

   Your hate for Trump only give him more attention while your love for Bernie is forgotten

   Love it!!! Autocorrect in 2016 still has not yet figured out how much I swear and how rarely I talk about ducks.

   I love when people say "they're expecting a baby" as though it might be something else, like a penguin.

   People say love is the best feeling ever. However I think finding a toilet right away when you have diarrhea is better.