Sully Funny Status Messages

   In honor of new Pope, boys underwear half off at Walmart....

   Has the new Pope made a Harlem Shake video yet?

   St. Patrick Pro Tip: Clean your toilet now!! You may be face down in it later........

   I'm guessing if we see pink smoke, that will mean the justices has reached a decision?

   Don't worry about the problems in North Korea, besides the destroyer......we've sent the B52's over. They'll surrender once they've listened to Love Shack a few times.

   Wow....Thought I was passing a kidney stone, but it was just a jellybean. I'm good.

   Don't worry guy's, my family could hold off North Korea by ourselves......

   Maybe we should just crop dust North Korea with Chronic Smoke! Just calm that whole area down a bit! I'm sure Colorado could support the mission......

   I'd like to Jack Bauer this alleged Saudi suspect....

   My brain during the day: I need a nap.... My brain at night: I wonder why the Earth was placed exactly here & allowed us to sustain human life....

   And there are some that say I don't need an AR-15 and 30 round mags. Yeah right....

   FYI - All backpacks are suspicious. Carry your $hit in your hands...

   Okay, Earth Day is over, we can start f**king up the planet again........

   Just saw a sign for a suicide helpline on the back of a bus. Wouldn't it be a lot more helpful if it was on the front?

   Somewhere, skeletons and secret gays are fighting over closet space...

   I came out of the closet while getting dressed this morning, yet, no news story....

   I say we bury Boston bomber, Tamerlan Tsarnaev's body at Westboro Baptist Church....

   FYI - Police say Boston Marathon bomber has been buried in undisclosed location. Hopefully wrapped in bacon with a Bible on his chest...

   Summary: IRS sorry about abusing govt power, now register your guns you paranoid freaks.

   Angelina Jolie getting a double mastectomy to reduce the risk of breast cancer is like me cutting my junk off because I might bet blue balls