Steve OH Funny Status Messages

   I missed a period in that last status. I hope I'm not pregnant!!!

   Can't wait to see the hour of commercials it takes for some dude to be eaten alive by an Anaconda in five minutes tonite...

   haven't been this hungover since yesterday

   I'm at that stage of not showering where you develop a sort of detached, clinical interest in how bad you smell and seeing how much worse it can getting.

   My "Facebook Moments" thing is just a bunch of pictures of me getting drunk so, whatever...

   "OMG that guy is dead!! No wait, he's okay..." - My wife's first time watching professional soccer

   On a scale of Gary Busey to Charlie Sheen, I'm David Hasselhoff drunk right now.

   I thought Game of War was some kind of breast inhancement app. I was wrong.

   Play Trivia Crack they said. It'll be fun they said... phukerz.

   I wish my wife would look at me the way Biden looks at the back of Obamas head.

   Am I the only one praying for an, "Equiptment Malfunction" during the halftime show tonight?

   "That's What." - She

   So... Stub Hub isn't a dating site for quadriplegics? Mind blown!

   So you guys heard about this MySpace thing?

   Do you think I'll now what's up in "Horny Neighbors 3" without seeing the first 2?

   They say, "Don't Text and Drive" but I've had 3 maybe 4 texts all day so I'm good, right?

   Bruce Jenner? Never heard of her...

   "Oh, this old thing?" - my cat showing me his butt hole..

   "Looks don't matter, just be yourself". - attractive people

   Apparently my nipples approve of the cool weather...