Eddy Funny Status Messages

   today Obama signed the Violence Against Women Act (VAWA)....is it still legal to tell my gf to make me a sandwich?

   whats the difference between love & a sandwich? I'm great at making a sandwich

   I've always been told to dress for the job you want. I love my cape

   Luke 6:27 But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you....I got you a Carnival Cruise ticket

   as a kid my mom used to tell us kids "i dont want to hear a peep"....i just listened to the easter basket & I dont hear anything

   if wine is the blood of christ, why make up a song asking fro jesus to take the wheel?....u just asked for a drunk driver

   forget kay....every kiss begins with a semicolon :*

   if Bill Gates was to die & go to hell, would that make him the "Gates of Hell"?

   if a worker gets fired & banned from the Lego company, have they been "blocked"?

   do siamese twins call their colons a "semicolon"?

   optimistic people say "nobody is perfect" ......all my haters say "he's nobody"....even my haters think i'm perfect

   MAY the FOURTH be with you

   a lot of women stick their cell phone in their bra now days....i guess that makes it an "over the shoulder phone holder"

   the brain controls body movement....i just picked up my drink with my hands therefore I used my mind to do it....i have magic powers

   seems like they'd have an app for the smart phones & tablets where you can just write down important things for the ppl that forget stuff.....on the ipad & iphone they can call it "iforget"

   happy fathers day to all the ones who came home with the gallon of milk

   so they asked Paula Deen if she ever said the "N" word.....i dont think she's ever used "nonfat"

   i must be part zombie because i've been looking for a woman with brains

   my opinion is brought to you by the letter "F" & the letter "U"

   Subway uses the slogan "eat fresh"...it makes me wonder if the other restaurants are fresh too because they don't say they are