joser Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon Some say the glass is half full, some say the glass is half empty. I say “Are you gonna drink that?”
←Rate | 05-04-2010 17:49 by Joser Comments (1)  


   messageicon Weird... I just found a haystack on top of this needle...
←Rate | 05-04-2010 22:52 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hate to sound so skeptical but I'm starting to think that The Office isn't a real documentary.
←Rate | 05-05-2010 12:08 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Even if your life was a total waste of space, there's always hope that you'll die in a weird enough way to make a CSI episode.
←Rate | 05-05-2010 12:09 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon I know I looked like a complete idiot on that wedding video but the camera adds 10 drinks.
←Rate | 05-05-2010 12:09 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Got carded for a box of Nicorette. I guess they don't want you to quit using tobacco until you're over 18...
←Rate | 05-05-2010 12:10 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's Cinco de Mayo! Or, as they call it in Arizona, "May fifth let me see your papers."
←Rate | 05-05-2010 12:10 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just because you're smart does not mean that the other guy is stupid.
←Rate | 05-05-2010 12:12 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Welcome To Sh*t Creek ~ Sorry, We're Out of Paddles!
←Rate | 05-05-2010 12:14 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon It used to be only death and taxes were inevitable. Now, of course, there's shipping and handling, too.
←Rate | 05-05-2010 12:15 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off...
←Rate | 05-05-2010 12:16 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've created a Facebook group called "Threesome" and invited two girls. Now just waiting and see what happens..
←Rate | 05-05-2010 19:41 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ever stop to think and forget to start again?
←Rate | 05-05-2010 20:46 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Seis De Mayo, Spanish for, Hungover...
←Rate | 05-06-2010 10:59 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon My pants are on the no-fly list.
←Rate | 05-06-2010 17:42 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just because we have the same last name doesn't mean we have to be Facebook friends, Grandpa...
←Rate | 05-06-2010 17:46 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon The 7 deadly sins? Um... male camel toe, spamming, paying by check, using ALL CAPS, bogarting, leaving the seat up
←Rate | 05-06-2010 17:47 by Joser Comments (2)  


   messageicon Job Application Tip: If asked "Have you ever been convicted of a crime?" the incorrect response is, "No, I pleaded insanity."
←Rate | 05-06-2010 17:47 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Keep this just between you and me" is a guarantee everyone will know by the end of the day
←Rate | 05-06-2010 17:49 by Joser Comments (0)  


   messageicon From what I've heard, there are actaully people whose paychecks last all the way to the next paycheck! I know! I didn't believe it either.
←Rate | 05-06-2010 17:49 by Joser Comments (0)  




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