SULLY Funny Status Messages

   Listen. If you're ever asked if you've taken deer antler extract, "No. Never." isn't quite as convincing as "WTF is deer antler extract?"

   The Postal Service should have Lance Armstrong deliver Saturdays mail for free....

   Blizzard Survival Tip: If anyone in your household makes a "global warming" reference, throw them outside. It's the only way they'll learn.....

   Hey, just wanted to point out that Nemo is Omen backwards. I'm sure it's fine......

   FYI - Valentines Day is only 5 days away... It's not too late to break up.

   The Pope is really setting a high bar for giving something up for Lent.

   I expect Obama to name himself the new Pope soon.....

   I've decided!! I’m giving up my New Years resolutions for Lent....

   it just me or does it look like the Carnival cruise ship is leaving a skid mark across Mobile Bay?

   Looking at those meteorite videos from Chelyabinsk. I have learned Russians have very bad radio stations....

   I think it is high time Obama gets serious on meteorite control.....

   Lord, please forgive these gas prices, for they know not what they do to my pockets...

   If Oscar Pistorius was born without arms instead of born without legs, this whole thing would of never happened...

   I am going into my sequester bunker now, someone call me when this nightmare is over! I am terrified......

   Being swallowed by a sinkhole is a bad way to start the day. At least he gets to avoid the sequester...

   Sequester Day 1. Sarasota, Florida. Lights still turn on, my shower had hot water, no rioting yet. I'm secure in my bunker. Rations inventoried. Locked & loaded...... God help us

   Hugo Chavez: First confirmed victim of sequester......

   Hot dog warmers at Citgo seem to be rolling at half-speed tonight, must be in honor of Chavez?

   FYI - Remember to set your clocks forward an hour this weekend because we can only afford 23 hours a day now due to the sequester......

   White smoke is coming out of my neighbor's house. He either elected a new Pope or he's got some good weed.