Eddy Funny Status Messages

   hope the women don't sue me for lying about my length too

   Girls fall in love with what they hear... Guys fall in love with what they see. That is why girls wear makeup, and guys lie!

   the facebook app...its like combining ESPN with Weather Channel & some occasional drama

   i found a sexy person who I love very much.... it's a shame i'm not allowed to marry myself

   youtube is red, facebook is blue, I'm so lonely with nothing to do

   vodka is made with potatoes....i have a lot of family who like "health drinks"

   im gonna try to improve my life .....↑↑↓↓← →← →B A START ....no it didnt work

   i've been looking for the key to happiness....apparently it isnt on my keyboard or my phone

   whenver ur alone & need a hug, just remember....so does a cactus

   im not lazy...my body is just an environmentalist that likes to conserve energy

   I wonder if Chris Dorner feels like he is jason Bourne

   roses are red, chocolate is brown, some ppl will be stuck at home looking for singles in their town

   i'm an animal in the bedroom...a sloth

   my clothes are christian...this week in the laundry they gave up some lint for lent

   id hate to be a vegetarian in Russia....everything suddenly tastes a little meteor

   theres the old saying "you are what you eat"....glad I'm not in Britian eating horse's ass

   this status has been formatted to fit your screen

   i keep getting all these popups...if this lasts 4 hours, I'm gonna have to visit WebMD

   why do ppl say they are "under the weather"?....unless ur an astronaut, were all under the weather

   people get so mad at me in the self-checkout lane....i stand there checking myself out just like the name says. they say I take too long