@OMFG_Rel8able Funny Status Messages

   Crying is not necessarily a sign of weak character. Sometimes it is a sign of strong onions.

   Appreciate the little things. Hug a midget

   Always be positive. *Trips down the stairs* "Wow, I got down those stairs fast!"

   I hate it when I'm trying to kill a spider but then I lose track of it and I become a victim in my own home.......

   That annoying moment when your juice box refuses to lose it's virginity

   If I'm on a date & its bad, I'm just gonna stand up & say "I'm an actor, they're all actors & you're on MTV's Disaster Date!" & run out.....

   At my funeral when they're lowering me into the ground I demand they play "Drop it like its hot"!!!

   Still waiting for the best day of my life to happen...!!!

   Who the fnck do you think you are and why are you breathing?!!

   I enjoy long walks on the Internet ;)

   BOY: "Hi" GIRL: "I have a boyfriend" BOY: "I said 'Hi' not suck my d!ck"

   I wish more people would give me the silent treatment.!!

   At home: I want to go out, I want friends. When I go out: I want to go home, I hate people.

   You just don't just come into someones life, make them care and then just leave.

   I'm on that new diet where you eat everything and hope for a miracle.!!!

   “Leftover Bacon” – a phrase you've never heard before.!!!

   I'll stop being so lazy when being so lazy stops being so awesome.!!

   Can someone please call Carly Rae Jepsen so we can be done with this already?!!

   SO HUNGRY.. but not hungry enough to get up and get food.!!!!!!!!!

   I disagree, but I respect your right to be stupid.!