doc noland Funny Status Messages

   Glad Doc Brown no longer needs plutonium for his flux capacitor, ‘cause the Libyans are to busy having a party.

   Correct me if I am wrong but if your white, is it no longer cool to get beads braided into your pubic hair?

   Most surprising thing about yesterday's 16-hour NBA talks: It was only 2 hours of talks, and 14 hours of "Y'all Ready for This?

   Ugh, this girl who woke up in my bed is SO needy. She's all "Who are you?" "What'd you put in my drink?"

   Girls get so weird when you ask them to make a wittle baby in their tum tum... still single

   It's fascinating that a creature can begin as a caterpillar and end as a stepped-on caterpillar

   Hey girl, did it hurt when you fell from heaven after Lucifer's rebellion?

   "I don't want anyone to know I'm the one who said this" - Anonymous

   I have this medical condition that makes me pee in a hot tub as soon as I get in it.

   Wasn't very creative as a kid. I never had any imaginary friends growing up and neither did any of my friends from planet BeelaBoop.

   I don't want anyone to feed my ego. I just want someone to put it in their mouth and do tongue tricks with it.

   Meanwhile, on the east coast, thousands of children are changing their costume from pirate to snowboarder.

   Sex with me is like Sex with an optometrist: better like this, or better like this, How about this, or like this. Better here or here.

   I think I weigh, I don't know...74317.965555 pats of butter.

   The power went out, so I'm taking my shower by LED flashlight, just like they did in the olden days.

   it weird that one of my nuts is bigger than the other two?

   ok but i'm out of cialis so you have to wear the boba fett mask

   I feel like I should apologize to my shower drain.

   Kim Kardashian requests her privacy during this time. Just her, an E! camera crew & 30 black dudes dragging their sacks across her face.

   Melissa Etheridge is single, with four kids by two different chicks. Sounds like someone is ready for the NBA.