Abraham lincoln Funny Status Messages
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Page: 10 of 11
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When you break something at the store and nervously walk away!
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Nothing says ''I'm a fat a$$ like wearing a T-shirt in the pool!
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Listen I'm not an alcoholic, they go to meetings...I'm a drunk we go to parties!
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I hope Adele and Eminem never date, can you imagine what their breakup albums would be like!
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1 tequila, 2 tequila,s 3 tequiklas, 4 teuiqlas, 5 teiuqlsd, 6 teiqulkss, 7 eteiqlas, 8 treqiklasl, 9 travquikas, 10 trewquwtss
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hahahahahahahahaha=very funy hahahahaha=funny haha=not that funny
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Daughter''Dad I am a lesbian!'' Sister ''Me too dad!'' Dad ''Doesn't anyone like guys around here?'' Son ''I do!''
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If my Boobs sag any more people are going to think they are nuts!
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Dude, she has a Boyfriend! So, soccer has a goalie doesn't mean you can't still score!
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$19.99 because $20 is an outrageous amount of money!
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Dude, I gave you a pen not a chew toy!
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3AM text message ''Hey are you asleep?''....''No I'm scuba diving!''
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16 and a Olympian > 16 and Pregnent
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When the teacher says you'll be working with partners then adds ''But I'll be assigning them!''
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Dogs don't care if Bacon is crispy or not!
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I wonder how long it takes a girrafe to vomit!
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I hate when I accidently run my hand over a piece of gum stuck under a desk!
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Went for a jog tonight and saw a payphone and I was like ''WTF is that!!!''
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I've been Nominted for Facebooks New Award, Most Funny/Best Posts in 2012!.......In other news I lost my job, my wife, car, and all contact with the outside World!!!
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Saying ''Oh Yeah, I remember!'' when you have no idea what their talking about!
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