@OMFG_Rel8able Funny Status Messages

   I think I'm going to end up like Plankton. Marrying my computer.!!

   MOM: Back in the day we didnt have internet…ME:” well thats just too bad for you.

   I went for a run tonight. Sure, it was a beer run, but I was sweating...

   Awkwardly flushing the toilet when everyone else is sleeping

   Cop: Why were you speeding? Me: Um I was going to the store for oreos. Cop: Double stuffed? Me: you know it. Cop: have a nice day..

   Nothing moves faster than a girl untagging herself from a picture that makes her look ugly..:D

   Single awareness day approaches :/

   Hey Mom! I have good news!" "You got a 100% on your math test?!" "I said I have good news, not a miracle"

   "Hi" "Hi" "Did you eat?" "Did you eat?" "Are you copying me?" "Are you copying me?" "I love you!" "Yeah, I ate already.."

   I really hate being Bi-Polar. It's fantastic! ):)

   Emergency call: "911, What is your emergency?" "Two girls are fighting over me!" "So what's the problem sir?" "The ugly one is winning..."

   whenever your bored send this text to a random number.. "I hid the body."

   It's scary to think nothing can kill that 0.01% germ.

   INTERNET: Can't get your homework done with it, can't get your homework done without it.

   It's funny how I'm afraid of losing you when your not even mine

   I leave homework till the last minute, because I'll be older and therefore wiser!

   I walk around while brushing my teeth because I get bored standing there

   Grades don't measure intelligence, and age doesn't define maturity.

   Two types of people that annoy me: Drunk people when I'm sober. Sober people when I'm drunk.

   Tell someone you love them today, because life is short. But shout it at them German, Because life is also terrifying and confusing.