rob Funny Status Messages

   the heart of a little boy....on a jar on my desk.

   my children are ARE well behaved!! everyone just has high standards

   my wife said I need more calcium in my diet.. she then proceeded to knock my teeth down the back of my throat!!!!

   the doctor said pops has sugar in his urine now we cant stop him from peeing on his cornflakes.

   that was a sweet lifeguard job till the stupid blue kid got me fired.

   I now know what that black stuff is between elephants toenails....slow natives.

   Got caught with a beer while driving... Who would have thought they would pull over a schoolbus.

   robs tip for students #546- Teachers know when you're texting. Sincerely, No one just looks down at their crotch and smiles

   You know how when you're kissing someone and you want to take them into the bedroom to have sex with them? Yea, well I don't want to do that with you.

   The fact that you continue to speak ,although I informed you I'm not listening, puzzles me.

   See this Ipod ? Hear the music ? It's the only thing that's keeping me from killing you right now .

   It's not that I hate you it's just...ok, put it this way. if you were on fire and I had water. I would drink the water.

   Humpty Dumpty sat on a bed Little Bo Pep was giving him head as soon as he came she started to weap she knew by the taste he was f**king her sheep

   "Look at the keyboard ... you and I are together, look underneath it says JK."

   Judge me all you want..But don't think I'll give a damn.

   You can walk out that door and keep on walking... Because you never shut up and you're always talking.

   Are you always this stupid, OR ARE YOU MAKING A SPECIAL EFFORT TODAY?

   i would like to thank you people for letting me know its friday every week its thoughts like this that keep me on facebook.

   You've been H.A.D ... HAPPY APOCALYPSE DAY .

   No seriuously we should not have dumped Osama bin Laden's body in the ocean ..... Neptune is pissed. He has Unleashed The Kraken's