bridget Funny Status Messages

   You know when you are getting old when, you finally got your head together, now your body is falling apart.

   If I seduce it, really get it going, then leave it alone for ten minutes,maybe this paper will finish itself.

   Foolishness always results when the tongue outraces the brain.

   We have the Bill of Rights. What we need is a Bill of Responsibilities. Bill

   A neurotic is a person who builds a castle in the air. A psychotic is the person who lives in it. A psychiatrist is the person who collects the rent.

   If it squirms it's Biology; if it stinks it's Chemistry; if it doesn't work it's Physics and if you can't understand it, it's Mathematics.

   Americans treat the Constitution the same way they treat the Bible: Despite never having read or understood it, they are quite certain they know both.

   Officer says "Gee, Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?" You shouldn't respond with, "Gee Officer your eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?

   A stranger stabs you in the front. A boyfriend stabs you in the heart. An enemy stabs you in the back but real friends don't carry knives.

   I always knew looking back on the tears would make me laugh but I never knew looking back on the laughs would make me cry.

   It's sad to see that two close people don't recognize each other anymore. Not because they grew up but because they grew apart.

   Whoever gossips to you will gossip about you.

   Too Stupid to Understand Science? Try Religion.

   Wish I could change my relationship status to "batteries dead" LOL

   thinks Facebook should add another option for Friends Requests... WHO ARE YOU?

   going to defrag my brain. Process takes 8 to 9 hours. Will be unavailable till reboot is complete..

   - Boobs are a lot like toy trains...they are meant for kids but dads like playing with them too

   Big Boobs makes my ADHD go crazy!

   A lawnmower is like a man. You either have to push it or ride it if you expect to get any work out of it.

   When are they going to do a myth busters episode on God?