Jackoo Funny Status Messages

   I'm having such bad luck today, if I was in prison... Then today would of been the day I dropped the soap!

   You don't have to own a horse to know what not to put in it!

   If you wouldn't make her your wife.. Don't make her a mother!

   Ah...... The irony of the London Olympics being sponsored by McDonald's and Coca - Cola

   Roses are red, violets are fine, I'll be the six if you be the nine

   Don't fall in love, fall off a bridge... Its much less painful

   Women, they always want what they can't have!

   The definition of attention seeking.. Updating your Facebook status in capital letters!

   The cast of 16 & pregnant are the future cast of 32 & grandparents

   Why be fake when being real takes no effort at all?

   I hate it when tramps sit next to cash machines and ask you for change, cash machines only give out notes. If you want change, go sit next to a pay phone!

   Have you ever pushed a door that said pull?

   Porn has ruined my life. My toilet is blocked and I'm too scared to call the plumber :(

   I hope there comes a day when cancer is just a zodiac sign

   I'm drinking coffee because people think you've got a problem if you drink vodka in the morning!

   Birth control pills should really be made for men. It makes more sense to unload a gun than to shoot a bulletproof vest.

   Some people are only alive in this world because I really don't want to be someone's b!tch in prison

   Nothing more awkward then being 10 minutes into a porno and realizing there's no girls in it...

   You can't be ugly and play hard to get, your already hard to want.....

   When I hear a girl speak German, I automatically think she's a lesbian