@The69Sheriff Funny Status Messages

   a problem with Kinect for X-Box... if I wanted to use my entire body to play sports... I would just play sports.

   can tell you the 5 most unappealing words in the English language... Used Hot Tub For Sale.

   thinks that swearing was invented as a compromise between running away and fighting.

   thinks living well may be the best revenge... but rubbing your ass all over someone's cell phone is pretty good too.

   doesn't think you should ever compliment a lady on her mustache... no matter how magnificent it is.

   doesn't think drinking will solve your problems... but it will give you lots of interesting new ones.

   thinks the world would be a lot more fun if people screamed when they yawned...

   The most effective part of bringing my laptop to the coffee shop so I can "work" is the "lying to myself."

   finds it ironic that I have to get out of bed on humpday.

   likes to believe the spell czech on my computer has never failed me.

   hates being asked if I've had any "past experience." Is there any other kind?

   recommended by 4 out of 5 ex-girlfriends.

   doesn't accept blame well... but it's not my fault.

   Time flies when you're having beer.

   needs to have a fixed income... mine is broken.

   remembers the last thing a wise man said to me was "Help! I'm drowning!" I never knew what he meant by that tho... he was so wise.

   wondering why he must think of himself in the third-person to change his status.

   You know that button in the elevator with the fireman's hat on it... turns out that is not the button you push if you want a fireman's hat.

   thinks that it's no coincidence that there are no z's in insomnia.

   My dad probably can't beat up your dad anymore.