@BoyGotJokes Funny Status Messages

   I like to meet the parents drunk so they don't get the wrong idea of what kind of guy I am.

   I wouldn't say that she is a hoe, just that she makes hoe decisions

   When a girl stomach hurts it is always blamed on 1 of 2 "P" words by everyone... Period, Pregnant.. <--words do hurt :(

   Recent studies have shown that smoking marijuana destroys the memory.. well if thats true, then what does smoking marijuana do?

   Beyond tired right now.. everytime I blink I'm pretending its a mini nap

   Dear infommercials.. Clearly its not a $100 value if you're selling it for 10 bucks

   Double-Stuffed Oreos should just be called Oreos and regular Oreos should be called Diet Oreos.

   Do emo kids not get enough Happy Meals as a kid?

   she txtd me "im outside" so I txtd her back "Im inside looking at my phone saying that didnt sound like the doorbell" lol

   I wouldn't know how to act if Mr. T approached me and he was nice, I would be hella confused

   If you judge a book by it's cover, you are likely going to miss out on a great story!

   Saw a Chinese baby and a black kid wave at each other today. Gives me hope for the future. Or another Rush Hour movie

   I coulda swore I just heard my Rice Krispies say "The f#kk dude? It's dinner time"

   They should invent a game for people with bad breath.. I would call it "Taste the Colgate!"

   I like to pretend that the girls who do the "duck face" in pics can beatbox real good

   Duct tape and bungee cords on someone's car says "watch out, I definitely don't have any insurance"

   Kim Kardashian's marriage was shorter than a midgets tie

   Women that have strong handshakes kind of freak me out

   No matter what mistakes I make in my life at least I won't be as pathetic as the guy who got eaten by a t-rex on the toilet in Jurassic Park

   I smashed my finger today, "just glad it wasn't my "Have a nice day" finger