Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 1 of 6373
According to my chocolate calendar, there are only three days left until Valentine’s Day.
←Rate |
01-04-2023 02:41
Comments (0)
Trillion-dollar propaganda machine vs. people putting funny words on pictures.
←Rate |
01-08-2023 17:20
Comments (0)
Never interrupt your opponent while he's making a mistake.
←Rate |
01-06-2023 01:48
Comments (0)
You can’t change someone who doesn’t see an issue with their actions.
←Rate |
01-06-2023 19:34
Comments (0)
If you’re not happy single, try dating apps. You’ll still be single, but you’ll appreciate it a lot more.
←Rate |
04-29-2022 00:48
Comments (0)
I’m like an avocado, I’m only pleasant for a short period of time and it’s up to you to figure out when that is.
←Rate |
01-10-2023 01:26
Comments (0)
Friendly reminder to put all current boyfriends and girlfriends at the edge of family photos so that they and easily be cropped out later.
←Rate |
01-08-2023 02:10
Comments (0)
When today’s safety meeting is about what you did yesterday.
←Rate |
06-30-2022 01:06
Comments (0)
Places finger on cop’s lips ~ “Shhh…. We were both speeding, okay? I forgive you.”
←Rate |
01-06-2023 18:28
Comments (0)
Quiz question: Would you rather be stuck on an island all alone or with someone you hate, and why? Answer: I would rather be stuck on an island with someone I hate, so I would have something to eat.
←Rate |
01-08-2023 17:25
Comments (0)
That moment when you miss one step on the stairs, and you think you’re about to die.
←Rate |
01-12-2023 01:14
Comments (0)
When you see your-self as Robin Hood, Prince of Jokes. Stealing from group to feed another, spreading joy across the land.
←Rate |
01-08-2023 15:25
Comments (0)
Using your turn signal is not “giving information to the enemy.”
←Rate |
01-12-2023 00:22
Comments (0)
I’m going to need some of you guys to start getting weirder, I cannot keep pulling all the weight like this. 😏
←Rate |
01-23-2023 02:44
Comments (0)
Alien: I found this, (picks up cat) it’s vibrating.
←Rate |
04-22-2022 00:17
Comments (0)
My emotional support dog after spending a day with me. Dog: Drinks a 5th of vodka and chain-smokes non-filter cigarettes.
←Rate |
01-08-2023 17:23
Comments (0)
Twitter files released. MSM: “What files? ~ Space Man Bad”
←Rate |
01-08-2023 16:19
Comments (0)
Has decided to be fully delusional this year and see where that takes me. Because, being sensible hasn’t gleaned the results I’m looking for.
←Rate |
01-18-2023 01:03
Comments (0)
At the store: “OMG haven’t seen you in forever! Let’s stand in everyone’s way!”
←Rate |
07-01-2022 01:46
Comments (0)
Wonder if the skulls of your enemies are dishwasher safe. Asking for a friend.
←Rate |
07-01-2022 01:49
Comments (0)