Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 80 of 6384
To help reduce cost, this written status was typed in china.
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12-28-2022 08:35
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Feeling adventurous? When your wife calls you, text her "He's busy" and then switch off the cell phone.
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12-28-2022 08:34
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New Year's Eve is just a myth created by the government to sell you more years.
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12-28-2022 08:34
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May you all have a prosperous New Year in 2023. (I may need to borrow some money)
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12-28-2022 08:33
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Ah yes, it's that wonderful time of year between Christmas and New Years that I like to call "The Festive Perineum".
A hookah is just a glorified bong. Change my mind.
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12-27-2022 08:16
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My New Years resolution is to try and put less than 5 chapsticks through the washer & dryer next year.
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12-26-2022 06:07
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Dear Santa! Listen here! I'll keep eating my deer jerky while you give me what I want for Christmas or Rudolph is next. Make it happen fat man!
The police....
The only people who ever wanted me for who I really am.
Joe exotic was going to do a Christmas song,
But he hates carols
iuyyuiyuyuyuyuyu8yuyuyuy yyuyuy ggggggaaaaaffffffsasaasdsyr
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12-24-2022 05:57
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I try my best to be a thoughtful husband. So, I'm gonna surprise my wife with a new bag and belt for Christmas ! The old vacuum cleaner is gonna run like new now .
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12-23-2022 20:43
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If you want to know How many people you can spray down with Febreze before they fire you as a Wal Mart greeter.The answer is 18
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12-23-2022 18:50
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Call me old fashion, but I'm glad my mom was a woman.
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12-23-2022 06:20
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I'm sitting here wrapping Christmas presents with one hand. If any of you find a Band-aid in your gift, don't touch it.. I'm still waiting on the test results.
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12-23-2022 06:19
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Don't regret past mistakes. Your decisions, good and bad, led you to where you are today. (Disregard this post if in prison)
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12-23-2022 06:19
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If I’ve learned anything from the Kardashians it’s that I shouldn’t let my complete lack of talent hold me back.
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12-23-2022 06:18
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Warning! If you get a link that says "Justin Barber sings Christmas carols" Don't open it! It's Justin Barber singing Christmas carols.
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12-22-2022 20:36
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Do I need to watch the first two seasons of COVID to understand Season 3?
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12-21-2022 07:57
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Santa put down the pen! I can explain everything!