Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 76 of 6384
If it’s out of your hands, then it deserves freedom from your mind too.
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01-07-2023 12:43
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Life would be easier if we all had a video game health bar above our heads letting everyone know how close we are to a meltdown.
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01-07-2023 12:28
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“I want the truth!” Independent fact checkers, with the direction of the FBI, have concluded that you can’t handle the truth.
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01-07-2023 12:20
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The biggest story this week, is the suppression of a story about the suppression of a story. That story is also suppressed, we’ll have less on the story later.
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01-07-2023 12:12
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Man injured in a bizarre peek- a- boo accident...He's in ICU.
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01-07-2023 11:58 by Curly
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Too old for SnapChat. Too young for Life Alert.
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01-07-2023 09:51
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I’m drinking coffee right now because people think you’ve got a problem if you drink vodka on a Saturday morning.
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01-07-2023 05:38
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Please punch in your account number, phone number and the last four digits of your social security, so I can transfer you so they can ask you for those same numbers again
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01-07-2023 05:37
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Welcome to your fifties. Now your eyebrows grow from your left shoulder.
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01-07-2023 05:36
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waking up with a headache was not the pounding I was hoping for
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01-07-2023 05:34
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I’ve got chicken fingers and a McRib, a few more parts and my monster will be complete.
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01-07-2023 05:34
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My super power is being able to sing along to Pearl Jam without knowing a single word
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01-07-2023 05:34
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It’s bad when the hackers try to return your stolen identity.
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01-07-2023 05:33
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My mom always says if I get tattoos now they’ll look ridiculous when I’m old which is why i’m waiting till I turn 90 to get my first one
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01-07-2023 05:33
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If it wasn’t for “only one cashier open and it’s a cute guy in his twenties and I am buying a cart full of tampons” luck, I wouldn’t have any luck at all
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01-07-2023 05:33
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Sure, I’ll load the dishwasher honey. What kind of ammunition does it use?
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01-07-2023 05:32
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Drivers ignoring winter conditions, may be subject to natural selection.
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01-06-2023 19:59
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Once you carry your own water, you’ll learn the value of every single drop.
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01-06-2023 19:43
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You can’t change someone who doesn’t see an issue with their actions.
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01-06-2023 19:34
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If I yelled “Bingo!!” but refused to let you examine my card, would you give me the prize anyway?
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01-06-2023 19:07
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