Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 38 of 6384
While speaking at an African leadership summit yesterday, Sleepy Joe accidentally referred to Africa as a country instead of a continent. To be fair, most of what he knows about Africa is based on “The Lion King.”
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08-07-2023 10:43
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I’m planning to adopt a dog soon, it wasn't my first choice but my doctor told me I can’t have any biologically.
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08-07-2023 10:38
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A LION NEVER LOOSES SLEEP OVER THE OPINIONS OF THE SHEEP.
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08-07-2023 10:34
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Shouldn’t you have to pass a drug test to get a welfare check since I have too pass one to earn it for you?
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08-07-2023 10:33
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I went for a job interview yesterday and the boss asked me: Why did you leave your last job?? I said: The company relocated and didn't tell me where.
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08-07-2023 10:32
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In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker.
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08-07-2023 10:32
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Oscar Mayer needs to change the labeling on their bacon packages to now read "Excellent source of hangover cure."
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08-07-2023 10:32
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Flat Earthers: "The only thing we have to fear is sphere itself."
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08-07-2023 10:17 by MickeyF
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I sent a ninja to your house to steal your cookies!
Once a woman is MENTALLY over you.. IT'S OVER FOR YOU💔😭
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08-06-2023 04:06
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My girl is such a good cook that even the fire alarm cheers her on!
Honestly, I think pregnancy test commercials would be a whole lot more authentic if they showed two single people high-fiving when it’s negative
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08-04-2023 08:49 by RobbieG
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Someone said: "what night is the dnc swimsuit comp?" I concur. Would love to see AOC in a swimsuit and ball gag. 🤣
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08-04-2023 00:05 by punk
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Due to inflation, alien abduction no longer comes with free probes. Humans are required to bring their own probes, or may purchase a probe on board the spacecraft for a moderate fee.
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08-03-2023 09:35
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A phone booth was perhaps not the best option for Clark Kent to change into Superman. He always emerged with his underwear on the outside of his outfit.
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08-03-2023 08:50 by MickeyF
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As the weekend approaches remember this, " A fine beer may be judged with only one sip, but it's better to be thoroughly sure. ”
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08-03-2023 08:37
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At Dairy Queen: Me: Medium Oreo Blizzard please. DQ: You wanna spoon? Me: Sure, when do you get off?
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08-02-2023 09:07 by RobbieG
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They outta line wit these school supply list.
Why my son gotta bring 4 new tires?
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08-02-2023 08:09 by Scorpio60
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We went and saw "Oppenheimer" Saturday night and when we left we heard a teenager say,"I liked Batman better!"? WTF did he expect?
Knowledge is knowing that hot peppers are a fruit; wisdom is putting them in a fruit salad.