Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 31 of 6384
Dating right now,
is like trusting a public defender.
Q. Can you name a fisherman's tool and a popular search engine? A. Netanyahu.
Marriage tip: We live in a day of women's equality! So because of this, never ever get your wife's door in the car for her, or open a door for her. Let her do it herself, because hey, equal rights, right?
I told my supervisor I'm coming in on Halloween as a ghost. I'll be here, you just won't see me.
Then there was the blind prostitute. You really gotta hand it to her....
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10-13-2023 19:59
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The reason why the NFL doesn't have very many women referees is because they would be too busy bringing up penalties from 10 years ago.
The purpose of a meme is to disturb the humorless and to humor the disturbed.
So, like... where's God hiding while this Middle East conflict rages on?
If you call me from a private number, I'll respect your privacy and not answer.
If you have to pay a celebrity millions to hawk your product, your product must suck.
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10-09-2023 18:48
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I don't understand why people get in the left lane just to drive the speed limit. That lane is for crime.
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10-08-2023 16:21
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Disney has a new movie coming out on Disney + tomorrow. Tinker Tinkerbell meets her brother, Taco.
Pro tip: Fill the piñata with ketchup and you'll never have to host a children’s birthday party again. You’re welcome.
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10-06-2023 08:02
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It is said that 1 in every 3 people cheat in a relationship. I haven't yet figured out if it's my wife or my girlfriend.
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10-06-2023 06:24 by Fike
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Please wear your masks. It saved my friends life. He was having lunch with his girlfriend and his wife didn't recognize him.
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10-05-2023 16:07
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As an electrician,
I always hated grounding my kids
White trash go to the movies
Just for the trailers
Four people on Google give a restaurant a bad review so you won't eat there. But millions of people report bad side effects from a vaccination and you keep going back for boosters. And bringing your kids.
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10-03-2023 12:37
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I'm almost a millionaire. I have all the zeros, now I just need a one.
Ladies. Does listening to Taylor Swift songs actually help you deal with your tragic love lives?
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10-02-2023 14:47
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