Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 300 of 6386
Today, I feel sorry for the poor saps who decided to boycott the NFL, four years ago, just because of stupidity.
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02-07-2021 15:36
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The GOP has now turned into the GQP, and this is why I'm out!
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02-07-2021 15:34
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Super Bowl parties are great! (If you aren't into football.) I'm into football, so no thanks.
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02-07-2021 11:04 by Fazzy
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Marriage tip #5: Every once in a while, call your wife by one of your ex-girlfriend's names. This will help her realize that she is not the only woman on the docket, and that you're a really good catch!
Marriage tip #4: Whenever you do something good for your wife, make sure to let her know. For example: "Hey honey, I put all the laundry by the laundry machine. That way you can wash the clothes after you get done with dinner."
Marriage tip #3: When you have to run some errands and your wife doesn't want to go with you, just grab yourself some Dunkin Donuts, don't get her any. When she asks why you didn't grab her anything, just say, "If you truly loved me, you would have gone w
I know I won't be out socializing for the Super Bowl. But not because I'm afraid of catching the Coronavirus, I just don't like sports.
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02-06-2021 16:05
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Sears just called,My Back ordered Leather jacket with tassels is finally in.
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02-05-2021 22:45
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A clean house and finish projects is the sign of someone who hasn't looked at Facebook in a while.
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02-05-2021 17:34 by Moon
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Betty white to preform at next year at 2022 Superbowl ...
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02-05-2021 15:56
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To all my secret admirers. With Valentine's Day just around the corner if you'd like some candy and flowers it's too expensive for you to reveal yourself now, but maybe next year!
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02-05-2021 15:55 by Moon
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If I ever get to a point where I strongly believe that bankers are starting wildfires with a laser from space, please shoot me!
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02-05-2021 12:24
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Well I guess if Headboard Harris can listen to rap music before it's recorded then Loco Cortez can be traumatized by a riot before it happens.
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02-05-2021 10:11
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How come ya’ll listen to a groundhog but not the CDC
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02-04-2021 16:05
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My home security system is just 15 motion-activated Big Mouth Billy Basses
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02-04-2021 14:41
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I like that repubIicons are miserable now that ByeDon is thier president.
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02-04-2021 13:25
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If you're alone on Valentine's day to feel better just remember how for the love of a woman St. Valentine was in imprisoned then beat to death with clubs!
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02-04-2021 12:45
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Just give the Hedge Funds a 600 dollars check. They will be fine.
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02-04-2021 09:30
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Guys, read the fine print before selling your soul to the devil. There's no way to opt out of his email newsletters.
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02-04-2021 08:26
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I shouldn’t repeat idle gossip from the neighbors but I just heard arf arf arf arf arf arf arf arf arf arf arf arf
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02-04-2021 08:23
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