Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 298 of 6386
The good thing about dating Black girls is not having to meet their fathers
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02-12-2021 20:49
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No one ever injured their eyesight by looking on the bright side of things.
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02-12-2021 18:03 by M740
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Valentine's Day. The one day out of the year the guy with the smallest package gets the girl.
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02-11-2021 00:38
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I wrote a book called "House to keep your house clean" Chapter 1: Log out of facebook. The End.
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02-10-2021 22:28
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I may be dumb, but at least I'm not "waiting for March 4th where Trump will be definitely be president again" dumb.
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02-10-2021 21:38
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They said a mask was enough to go into a grocery store. They lied, everyone else had clothes on...
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02-10-2021 16:52 by Gabe
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Has anybody actually gotten salmonella from eating raw cookie dough or are people just trying to stop me from living my life?
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02-10-2021 12:37 by M
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Playing rugby with helmets is for sissies. Helmets are for bikers
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02-09-2021 15:57
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I don’t like towels so after a shower I just sit in a tub of rice
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02-09-2021 11:39
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I’ve assigned genders to lollipops to make absolutely everyone uncomfortable
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02-09-2021 11:38
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Got kicked out of Star Fleet for using the transporter to catch up to the ice cream man after I’ve missed him going down my street.
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02-09-2021 11:38
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Hearing an adult say they “don’t understand why the government doesn’t just print more money so people have more” is why we can’t have nice things.
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02-09-2021 11:36
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My boyfriend died after falling into a giant vat of coffee at work He didn’t suffer, it was instant
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02-09-2021 11:36
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my dr just scheduled my colonoscopy on valentine’s day, do I take flowers or…?
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02-09-2021 11:35
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What a shock. Young white guys defending a mediocre SB half time show.
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02-09-2021 09:57
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Old white guys complained about the SB halftime show because we grew up in a time when originality, actually playing an instrument and not having auto tuned vocals counted as talent. Not like that heap of mediocrity we just saw.
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02-09-2021 08:29
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I hate when people say that the ears are their favorite part of a chocolate Easter Bunny. Gross out with all that wax and stuff, and they stink too.
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02-09-2021 08:24
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Ya all complained about Jlo at the Superbowl snl look what you got, Jock strap Face
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02-09-2021 07:26
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I would like to express some thanks to the writer just for rescuing me from this problem. After exploring throughout the the net and obtaining methods which were not productive, I figured my entire life was done. Being alive without the presence of approa
-I think one of my friends gets the award for “most insightful drunk” for his comment, “It’s such a nice night…if only the sun were out!” Too bad he didn’t get to see much more of that night.
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02-09-2021 02:19 by DocNoland
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