Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 29 of 6384
I have CDO. It's like OCD but the letters are in alphabetical order. LIKE THEY SHOULD BE!!
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11-08-2023 07:45
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The problem with daylight savings time is around midnight you start to feel like you're struggling to stay awake before you realize it's only 7:00 p.m.
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11-06-2023 21:28 by Moon
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Ten years ago I didn't forward that text to 10 people in 10 minutes. That's why my life sucks now.
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11-06-2023 11:21
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Saving daylight? Who am I, Superman?
Do you know why the call it "PMS"? Because "Mad Cow Disease" was already taken.
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11-05-2023 06:38
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Oh, Daylight Saving Time, why hast thou forsaken us?
I drove to town today to pick up my replacement glasses , you wouldn't Believe the people I ran into .....
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11-05-2023 01:21
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This may not be my Circus, and these may not be my monkeys . but I know all the clowns .
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11-05-2023 01:15
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Fair warning: If I see anybody wearing a Santa Claus hat before Thanksgiving I'm going to give them a wedgie, whether I know them or not.
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11-04-2023 12:23
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I’ll be deep frying something later on, because Sunday is the lard’s day.
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11-04-2023 11:36
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If you sit down too much ,do you understand ?
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11-04-2023 11:30
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It's finally November! That means it's time I get to start saying the two words everybody wants to hear: Merry Christmas!
How many divorced men does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, because they don't get the house anyway.
If you really can't stand someone, lend them $100 dollars. Chances are, you'll never see them again.
I just killed a huge mouse. Ripped it to bits. The staff at Disneyland is furious.
My angel sent from above. <3
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11-01-2023 00:49
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MARTHA ! You do have your medicare card. I don't blame you.
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10-30-2023 23:54
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A Karen just yelled at me in a parking lot that dressing up as a bum for Halloween is offensive to the homeless people. But I was just wearing my regular clothes.
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10-30-2023 12:45
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My eight-year-old just asked me if Bingo was the name of the farmer or the dog. Now I am questioning everything I thought I knew about life.
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10-30-2023 10:53
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Lol lmao
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10-30-2023 09:45 by Reyeka
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