Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 22 of 6384
I burned 1000 calories avoiding someone I know at Walmar
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01-31-2024 01:38
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AI photos are like instant mashed potatoes. You can easily tell they're weird, tasteless and nowhere near the real thing.
Me: [donating my body to Science] Science: [donates my body to Goodwill] Goodwill: [Leaves body on their lawn, with a sign that says "Free..please take!"] π€·
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01-29-2024 16:07 by CoolguyB
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Taylor Swift is worth $1.1 billion, yet you imbeciles let her live inside your skulls rent free.
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01-29-2024 15:13
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You'll hit every cone on the highway before I let you merge in front of me because you saw that sign 2 miles ago like I did.
The problem with autocorrect is that it often makes me say things I didn't Nintendo.
Chewbacca's redneck cousin is Chewstobacco
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01-27-2024 20:22
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The Left wants everything in the world to be electric or run on batteries? Start with the border wall!
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01-26-2024 17:18 by X
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The TV show 'Hoarders' is ok and all but I liked it so much better when it was called 'Sanford and Son'.
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01-26-2024 10:58 by CoolguyB
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I hate when I eat my last bite of food, not realizing it was the last bite,then immediately get sad because I wasn't able to mentally prepare myself. π₯πππ²π₯
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01-25-2024 21:25 by CoolguyB
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"I've made a lot mistakes in my life, but just know you were never one of them" -ME (looking at my triple bacon cheeseburger...extra bacon).
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01-25-2024 11:28 by CoolguyB
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I kept staring at the orange juice carton too long because it said "Concentrate"!
You know how we smack your household appliances when theyβre malfunctioning and it makes them work? I wish you could do that with people.
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01-25-2024 08:21
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Every drop of water on earth has been through multiple kidneys at this point.
Marriage tip: Every once in a while, call your wife by one of your ex girlfriend's names. This will help her realize that she is not the only woman on the docket and that you're a really good catch!
Hoes be looking for guys with the same initials as there x.
So they don't have to edit they tattoos .
Lol
Transginger.
I don't have red hair,
But I'll think could rock it.
I smell pizza.
I think I'm having a Little Seizure
Working 5 days a week just to be free for 48hrs just doesn't sit right with me.
Transgender
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01-23-2024 00:01
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