Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 218 of 6446

“You’re a lucky man” is a nice way of telling a guy you would bang his woman.
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05-15-2022 02:43
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There are two kinds of people when you explain that all drugs should be legal.
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05-15-2022 02:42
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You didn’t think the left would give up their thought police monopoly without a fight, did you? ~ Feds open investigation into Elon Musk.
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05-14-2022 03:33
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Truth ~ only visible to those who question everything that they have been taught to believe.
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05-14-2022 03:32
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There are two kinds of nerds: May the force be, - equal to mass times acceleration.
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05-14-2022 03:32
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Han Solo: Han open carries, hates trade regulations, tax fees and Imperial overreach. Be like Han.
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05-14-2022 03:30
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Me: My 401k is crushed I can’t afford food or gas. Biden: (licking ice cream cone) “Best economic recovery in history, Jack.”
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05-14-2022 03:30
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Being yelled at by a self-checkout machine is so humiliating. Everyone can hear you getting lectured by a little robot.
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05-14-2022 03:28
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They’re sending another 40 billion in aid to eastern Europe while our babies starve. That ought to make you mad as hell.
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05-14-2022 03:28
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Do you ever think for yourself? CNN viewer: “No, I have television for that.”
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05-14-2022 03:27
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Old Turkish Proverb: “When a clown moves into a palace, he doesn’t become a king, the palace becomes a circus.”
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05-14-2022 03:27
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I’m not here to fit into your world, I’m here to build my own world.
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05-14-2022 03:26
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What with unwanted pregnancies, social diseases and failed relationships, the Love Boat reboot will be titled the "Tug" Boat.
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05-13-2022 20:38 by Fazzy
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Left the back door open at my friend's house and her roomba escaped. Hope he goes on an adventure and cleans the whole world
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05-13-2022 18:57 by Mas
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The only supply chain Biden won’t disrupt, the flow of drugs at our southern border.
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05-13-2022 03:09
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Pink Floyd warned us about the school system over 50 years ago, and everyone slept on it.
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05-13-2022 03:07
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You get prosecuted for refusing to wear a mask on a plane, but they can intimidate supreme court justice’s families and will be celebrated. This is how you know we are living under a regime.
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05-13-2022 03:07
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Welcome to Oregon, tampons are in every boy’s bathrooms.
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05-13-2022 03:06
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Fact checkers: He didn’t say that, and if he did he didn’t mean it, and if he did you don’t understand it, and if you did it’s not a big deal, and if it is, it’s taken out of context, at least mean orange man gone.
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05-13-2022 03:05
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Soon, the public will be unable to think or reason for themselves. They’ll only be able to parrot the information that was given to them on the previous night’s news.
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05-13-2022 03:02
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