Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 169 of 6384
The quicker sniffer upper ~ Hunter Biden (learned it from his dad)
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04-23-2022 23:05
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If you put trash in your pocket to avoid littering, you’re going to heaven.
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04-23-2022 23:05
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My dad fully dressed all day. My dad when one of my friends come over ~ (in his underwear)
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04-23-2022 23:04
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He said he’d call me back in 30 minutes, it’s been 33. I just can’t deal with his lies anymore.
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04-23-2022 23:04
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#whoremembers ~ If you read that as whore members, we’re probably friends.
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04-23-2022 23:02
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Bucket list: Extra crispy, a side of cheesy fries and whipped cream gravy.
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04-23-2022 22:58
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Dont blame me. I voted for Trump.
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04-23-2022 12:58
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I have an assignment to translate a classic English poem into Spanish. So far I've come up with: Frijoles, frijoles, la fruta del musico. El mas usted consuma, el mas usted sonada breve.
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04-23-2022 11:29
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Seek immediate attention for erections lasting longer than CNN+.
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04-23-2022 08:56
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I wonder if people paying $300 for a Colon Cleanse even know about the new $4.99 Taco Bell deal?
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04-23-2022 08:49
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Never in the history of Calm Down has anyone calmed down by being told to calm down.
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04-23-2022 08:43
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When she’s sleeping…. Take her eyelashes off and make her a mustache with them. Follow me for more relationship advice.
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04-22-2022 23:23
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“Mr. Biden, why are you a total loser?” Asks new White House reporter Ronald Crump.
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04-22-2022 23:23
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Every time that you spend money, you’re casting a vote for the kind of world you want.
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04-22-2022 23:22
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Judge rules that airplane passengers no longer need to pretend to be eating for 5 straight hours.
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04-22-2022 23:22
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If your child makes fun of you for not being able to find the flashlight on your phone, just remind them of when you taught them everything.
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04-22-2022 23:21
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If they say it’s impossible, it’s impossible for them, not for you.
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04-22-2022 23:20
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Her: I have a child that needs a father figure. Him: I wear socks with sandals. Her: wow, you’re daddy af.
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04-22-2022 23:20
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Mike, Echo, Oscar, Whiskey… how do you copy? Over
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04-22-2022 23:20
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Cats are starting pyramid schemes and dogs are falling for them.
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04-22-2022 23:19
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