Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Welcome to Oregon, tampons are in every boy’s bathrooms.

   Fact checkers: He didn’t say that, and if he did he didn’t mean it, and if he did you don’t understand it, and if you did it’s not a big deal, and if it is, it’s taken out of context, at least mean orange man gone.

   Soon, the public will be unable to think or reason for themselves. They’ll only be able to parrot the information that was given to them on the previous night’s news.

   The closer the collapse of an empire, the crazier it’s laws.

   Back in my day they would cut cocaine with baby formula. Nowadays they cut baby formula with cocaine

   With the shortage that's going on ..Are any of the pregnant men donating their breast milk? Or are they keeping it all for themselves,

   Stock trading secret: Pick a stock that you know is going to go up and buy a lot of it. Then watch the price go up every day until it gets as high as it's going to get. Then sell it all before it goes back down.

   There are only two genders, male and female. The rest are mental disorders.

   Just checking, I heard a loud pop and thought you may have pulled your head out of your a$$.

   Have you ever rubbed your eyes so hard that you enter in, to some other dimension of swirls and patterns?

   The same people who are candy to our eyes can be poison to our hearts. Study their ingredients before feeding them to your soul.

   Reach ~ as high as you can, and then a little higher. There you will find magic and possibility… and maybe even cookies.

   The Poet: Why do you write? he asked. So, I can take my love for you and give it to the world, I reply. Because you won’t take it from me.

   Have you ever been so mad that you were calm?

   LGBTQ: Liquor, Guns, Bacon, Tits and Quicksand.

   Love ~ Giving someone the power to destroy you and trusting them not to.

   Hangry ~ A state of anger caused by lack of food.

   I think I finally found a diet that's really working for me! That's called The Rsing Cost Of Food.

   SELLING MY CAR FOR GAS MONEY .... INQUIRE WITHIN

   The War on Drugs only resulted in more drugs. The War on Terrorists only resulted in more terrorists. Maybe we should have a war on Baby Formula.