Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 136 of 6384
Did you hear there is a tampon shortage? Somebody better get in there and pull some strings
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06-16-2022 08:56
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Inflation is so bad that bedbugs are now infesting sleeping bags and tents, because they can't afford to stay in hotels anymore.
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06-16-2022 08:53
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Accidentally called out my dentist's name during my colonoscopy.
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06-16-2022 08:52
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You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman: Stuff you pay good money for in later life..
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06-16-2022 08:52
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The best password cracking software is a pissed off ex.
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06-16-2022 08:50
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I just saw a guy with a "Support Dyslexia" bumper sticker on the front of his car.
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06-16-2022 08:50
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When I'm in a good mood I act like I'm I'm in a bad mood so nobody approaches me and ruins my good mood..
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06-16-2022 08:48
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Mansplaining is a correctile dysfunction.
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06-16-2022 08:48
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Johnny Depp gets 15 million dollars for being with a nut job. And all these years I've been doing it for free!
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06-16-2022 08:47
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Caller ID isn’t enough for me. I need to know why you’re calling.
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06-16-2022 03:23
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If your lady wants something with diamonds in it, get her a deck of cards. Follow me for more relationship advice.
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06-16-2022 03:22
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Heads up guys, there are some real weirdos in this group. Someone messaged me to meet them in the woods for a naked Satanic ritual and then they didn’t even show up.
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06-16-2022 03:21
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Dating in 2022 be like: Find someone who also can’t afford rent alone. It won’t be hard.
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06-16-2022 03:21
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If we removed all laws, the crime rate would be 0%.
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06-16-2022 03:20
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Dear autocorrect: It’s never “duck.”
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06-16-2022 03:20
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If we had just let them eat Tide Pods, none of this dumb stuff would be happening right now.
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06-16-2022 03:19
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How would you describe college? I’m teaching myself a class that I’m paying for.
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06-16-2022 03:19
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I fear that one day, I’ll see one of my jokes marked as “Exhibit A.”
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06-16-2022 03:18
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If you can’t hide a crime scene, just pretend you’re a victim.
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06-16-2022 03:17
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If money doesn’t grow on trees, why do banks have branches?
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06-15-2022 01:43
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