Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 121 of 6384
Don't let your Facebook balls get your real life teeth knocked out.
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07-16-2022 10:42 by MM
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They should sell liver sandwiches at baseball games to complete the misery of the entire experience.
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07-16-2022 02:10 by Mickey
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I should have known better than to flush my wooden shoes down the toilet. Now, it's clogged.
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07-15-2022 19:37
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My dog licked the crumbs out of my computer keyboard and earned an online college degree from the University of Phoenix.
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07-15-2022 08:52
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Dear YouTube: Just because I watched one Jimmy Kimmel clip doesn't mean I want to watch every show ever made.
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07-15-2022 08:34
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I shurvivfed the dentisht wivout any notishable shide affecshss. š
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07-14-2022 17:22 by JCGJ
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To save time, let's just assume I'm never wrong.
Despite the high cost of living, it still remains popular.
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07-12-2022 17:26
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I wish there was a way to turn bad books back into trees.
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07-11-2022 17:22
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Why do lesbos pleasure themselves with plastic dil-dos instead of plastic vag-ginas?
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07-09-2022 17:42 by Beeman
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Hey Baby, are you hiding Opiates in your bra? 'Cause I see a Perky Set.
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07-09-2022 16:18
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Bologna is just hotdog pancakes.
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07-09-2022 08:09
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AAA says keeping your tires properly inflated can save drivers 8 cents a gallon. I say a properly cast vote can save you $3.00 a gallon.
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07-09-2022 08:03
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New goal: To go an entire day with seeing or hearing anything about Elon Musk.
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07-09-2022 08:03 by Broakhal
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I have nothing to say, but I will say it often and loud until I'm heard
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07-08-2022 13:40
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'm cleaning house and thinking that I need a car that runs on dog hair.
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07-08-2022 13:38
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People say that laughter is the best medicineā¦your face must be curing the world
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07-08-2022 13:38
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I hate doing laundry so much that I wait until the only thing I have left to wear is my very old prom dress.
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07-08-2022 13:37
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Iām the guy at the gym laying face down on the treadmill telling everyone āIām ok, Iām okā
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07-08-2022 13:35
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I was fighting with my wife when she said..."Your family isn't even human! They're more like a venereal disease!" I told her, "You better not say that to my sis, Phyllis!!
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07-08-2022 13:26
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