Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 10 of 6374
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Do Priests delivering Mass use their Altar ego ?
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03-03-2024 07:24
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I finally realized it... People are prisoners of their phones. That's why they are called cell phones.
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Flexibility is essential for mind stability
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03-02-2024 10:33 by GG
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Research has shown that laughing for 2 minutes is just as healthy as a 20 minute jog. So now I'm off to the park to laugh at all the joggers.
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never forget, you are a part of the universe that became sentient for a while and decided to post pictures of cats on the internet
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Someday when scientists discover the center of the universe, a lot of people are going to be disappointed to find out it isn't them.
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Padhai nahi ho rahi, kyunki mere bed ka gravitational pull kitni strong hai, ye mere books bhi confirm kar chuki hain
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So….Apparently driving past a cop…. While drinking water….from a vodka bottle…isn’t funny and is technically wasting police time.
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02-28-2024 21:40 by Avi8torTx
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Our childhood didn't prepare us for the amount of time we were going to say F^CK as adults
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02-28-2024 16:17
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The officer asked, "You drinking?" I said, "You buying?" And we just laughed and laughed. I need bail money.
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I'm not homophobic. I'm pro-vagina.
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02-28-2024 09:06
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Now that I've gotten older I've come to realize why Bigfoot stays away from people.
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My patience is basically like a Gift Card. Not sure how much is left on it but we can give it a try.
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02-26-2024 05:25
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The Backstreet Boys are now doing Downy fabric softener commercials, which means their career is officially over.
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02-24-2024 14:39
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I told the bank manager that I wanted to open a joint account. He asked who with? I said, the customer with the most money.
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Blacks comprise 13% of the US population. The exception being daytime TV court shows. Then it's 99%.
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02-23-2024 13:07
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I couldn't get a reservation at my local library. They were booked!!!
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I learned a valuable lesson today. An LED bulb doesn't work in an easy bake oven. I've been cooking this roast chicken for five hours and it's still raw.
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02-20-2024 15:51
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My wife is not talking to me today because she asked me what the female equivalent of the "mancave" is and I told her it's called the kitchen.
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Presidents’ Day is canceled until we find one
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02-19-2024 16:37
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