Funny Status Messages and Tweets

Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.

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   messageicon He's Trump, not Moses. He can't part waters. Blaming him for the Texas flooding is complete nonsense.
←Rate | 07-08-2025 21:17 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why are you all still shooting off fireworks? It's July 8th for crying out loud! One of them flew off course and almost hit my Christmas tree!
←Rate | 07-08-2025 13:16 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My idea of camping is a Motel 6 with a broken ice machine and no cable.
←Rate | 07-05-2025 21:01 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If casual sex exists that implies the existence of ranked competitive sex
←Rate | 07-04-2025 23:32 by Darkharbinger Comments (0)  


   messageicon A fun Independence Day depends on your number of dependents.
←Rate | 07-04-2025 18:19 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Diddy be giddy cause he be founded not gitty!" - The Ghost of Johnnie Cochran
←Rate | 07-02-2025 14:48 by FassyLarry Comments (0)  


   messageicon I had White Castle for dinner tonight. It was so good my butt gave them a big blowout review.
←Rate | 06-30-2025 02:00 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Panties aren't the best thing in the world. But they're next to it.
←Rate | 06-26-2025 21:41 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'll never understand people saying "Rest In Peace" when someone dies. Of course they're resting in peace. They're dead.
←Rate | 06-26-2025 05:34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hey, Dawn. Show us how well you clean dishes. We ain't got no oily duck.
←Rate | 06-25-2025 21:23 Comments (0)  



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