Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   mailing out 'blank inside' note cards to all the people that make me crazy...let them go crazy trying to figure out where it came from and what it should have said...

   lookin' like a fool with his pants on the ground.

   PANTS ON THE GROUND, PANTS ON THE GROUND! YOU'RE LOOKIN LIKE A FOOL WIT YOUR PANTS ON THE GROUND! PANTS ON THE GROUND! YOU'RE LOOKIN LIKE A FOOL WIT YOUR PANTS ON THE GROUND!......... Ya know, Simons right. I think it could be a hit.

   's faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive, and able to leap tall buildings with a single bound.

   There is nothing worse than aggressive stupidity. Pat Robertson and Rush Limbaugh prove that time and time again.

   man today is better than that day when I was in the 6th grade and I hired that stripper to come to show and tell!!!!

   kissing a walrus is like going to the glory hole booth. It seems like fun until you feel the whiskers!

   They say that if life throws you lemons, throw them back or make lemonade. But them b*stards never said anything about if life kicks you in the balls. Yeah, there's no recovery from that one!

   sometimes I feel like a fire hydrant staring at a pack of dogs.

   gets a kick out of "bobble-head" Obama. Kinda moves his head in a figure eight like Stevie Wonder

   has just heard that many stars have been approached to pledge money and support to the victims of the Haiti Earthquake. However, rumours that Will Smith is to re-release`Boom Shake The Room` in aid of the victims have not been confirmed.

   A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

   I have had many friends posting random thoughts. So here I go. If you are in a canoe flying over the grand canyon and a tire falls off how many pancakes does it take to fix a dog house orange elephants dont like ice cream.. Just a thought. :)

   Im Not The Girl Ur Mother Warned you About,,, Her Imagination Was Never This Good ;)

   just stole the lint outta your dryer to create a snuggie

   wondering why they keep midget porn on the top shelf?

   just enrolled in Lost University

   What should you do if you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?

   well I rather tell the truth that draws a tear than a lie that draws a smile

   why is it that every year during the ANNUAL solar eclipse comes it is always once in a MILLENIUM