Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Now that the statues are down, tell us how your life has improved. Take your time, I’ll wait.

   You can't sell electric cars if gas is cheap. If you don't think that's part of the plan, you're not paying attention.

   You had me at “I hate everyone too.”

   Tell us more about your welp...

   According to a new survey, 90% of men say their lover is also their best friend. Which is really kind of disturbing when you consider man’s best friend is his dog.

   You’ve got to be very careful if you don’t know where you are going, because you might not get there.

   Good advice is something a man gives when he is too old to set a bad example.

   Everything I know about dancing I learned from the Charlie Brown Christmas party

   Gaslighting ~ people who try to control others through manipulation will often accuse you of behaviors that they are engaged in themselves. A classic manipulation tactic ripped right from the leftist playbook.

   They got that $1,200. $600. And $1,400. Back in gas, food and rent.

   the FBI going to raid the house of the reporter who published the Alito opinion? Or is that just reserved for the reporters who got Ashley Biden’s diary.

   Why don’t you take a break from disappointing me.

   Silver Alert: Elderly white male, early dementia, yells “C’mon Man!”

   Girls are like strawberries, sometimes they’re at the grocery store.

   You’re only as good as your last haircut.

   The left is like, I paid $7.00 for gal. gas, $8.00 for gal. milk, rent is twice my monthly income, there’s shortages of everything, crime is surging, the world’s on the brink of chaos, but I’m happy because Trump isn’t in office.

   At the end of the day we are all human beans and together we will rice. Lettuce pray, ramen.

   I’m so old, I remember when people were well mannered.

   Anybody driving faster than you is a maniac, and anyone going slower than you is a moron.

   Fauci recommends stopping spread of Monkeypox by covering eyes, ears and mouth.