Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   I don’t have a status today, I have a concept of a status though

   If your neighbor happens to have a Trump/Vance sign in their yard, be a good neighbor and make sure you check on them! Sometimes its too late to notice mental health illnesses until it's too late!

   I swear all I do is work, come home, blink, and then I'm back at work again.

   Nothing says "this wont last"...quite like an engagement ring from Wal-Mart !

   Found out today that my ex needs a liver transplant,I'm not worried though ,she hasn't rejected an organ in 40 years

   It's amazing how Facebook can spot a fake post but can't spot a fake profile.

   People who worry about what kind of planet we're leaving for our kids might want to consider what kind of kids we're leaving for our planet.

   Where there is smoke..,,, there are Hezbollah operatives. BOOM! #Skyline of Beirut

   Ew a lair

   Stop trying to please people who don't like you and embrace the joy of being the most annoying person they've ever met.

   Diddy didnt kill himself..... Oh wait...thats next weeks headline....

   I didn't even know what to buy people for Christmas until I heard about these exploding pagers and walki-talkies.

   If the glove doesn't fit, you must use lubricant. -Diddy...,,, probably

   The economy is so bad right now, I received a pre-declined credit card in the mail.

   Post the four words every girl wants whispered in her ear.

   Amazing Fact: Donald Trump has been shot at more times than Tim Walz.

   I've been on Facebook for 16 years. I remember when this was all farmland.

   When a woman asks you to guess her age, it's like deciding whether to cut the blue, red, or green wire to diffuse a bomb.

   The worst thing to step on in the dark is someone else's foot when you live alone.

   Meme caption