Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Santa has been reading your posts all year. Most of you are getting dictionaries.

   Poke her in the coong-coong here we go.

   They say it's better to be poor and happy than rich and miserable, but how about a compromise like moderately rich and just moody?

   My level of sarcasm is to the point where I don't even know if I'm kidding or not.

   Would you rather be Whoopi Goldberg’s gynecologist or a Chiefs fan?

   Companies need to stop making employees feel guilty for taking vacation days and time off just because they failed to hire a sufficient amount of people.

   Do the Chinese realize when visiting the USA they're buying souvenirs made in their country?

   I finally caved in and started using pronouns. Mine are We/Won

   Cancer is like being on an airplane falling from the sky and praying that the pilot can pull it out.

   I really think it's time to take the warning labels off everything and let stupidity work itself out of the gene pool.

   If I truly posted what was on my mind, I'd most likely be in a psychiatric hospital right now.

   First rule of family gatherings, always bring your own vehicle so you can leave when you want.

   Yes,but Where on Eileen ?

   Anyone under 6ft 4 who wants to use an Umbrella in a crowd should have to do a cour

   Black Friday special!!! Stay at home and save 100%.

   Dear 11-21-24 6:48, no one is trying break into any bathrooms its a bathroom not fort knox

   13% of the population represented by the media as 50%

   The 👎 blowboy needs a life.

   They use their skin color as an excuse. It's their lack of culture and animalistic behavior that actually defines them.

   Being human requires no apologies. Being a jerk does.