Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   The confetti in times square, I bet that came from Edward Cullen farting.

   ate Oriental flavored Ramen for lunch today, and it tasted nothing like an Asian

   My New Year's Resolution is to not use facebook unless I'm going to update my status, make comments or read other people's stuff. So far I'm doing really good!

   My resolution -- Is to finally beat my == Haiku addiction.

   going to need a whole lot of money to buy those New Years Resolutions.

   A man's New Year's resolution of no sex, no beer,no football,no nights out with the guys and no porn started today. He just got married..

   I hope 2010 Brings You 12 Months of Happiness, 52 Weeks of Fun, 365 Days of Success, 8,760 Hours of Good Health, 525,600 Minutes of Gods Favor, and 31,536,000 Seconds of Joy!

   I Wish 2010 Brings You 12 Months of Happiness,52 Weeks of Fun,365 Days of Success,8760 Hours of Good Health, 52600 Minutes of Good Luck and 3153600 Seconds of Joy!

   I remember 2009 just like it was yesterday...

   Most of you are gonna stay up til midnight to see the new year in.....I'm gonna stay up to make sure 2009 leaves.

   stronger than a bear, wiser than a fox, endowed like a stallion.

   New Year's Resolution: To tolerate fools more gladly, provided this does not encourage them to take up more of my time.-James Agate

   A New Year's resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.

   Many people look forward to the new year for a new start on old habits.

   Happy and Safe New Year and Enjoy a Wonderful 2010 ~ Worry Less and Relax More ~

   getting OLDER remembers when he needed glasses to see blackboard , NOW he needs them to see SCHOOL !!!

   Youth is when you're allowed to stay up late on New Year's Eve. Middle age is when you're forced to.

   Internet postings show that the Northwest Airlines terrorism suspect was depressed and lonely. Apparently the thought of arriving in Detroit just put him over the edge.

   Cheers to a new year and another chance for us to get it right.

   would like to take all of the warning labels off everything toxic and weed out the stupid people in my life