Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Alzheimers: You wake up and wonder who's sleeping next to you, where you are, what you did the night before, why you're naked..... kinda like college, isn't it?

   is quiet, shy, sweet and innocent! Sorry I couldn't even TYPE that with a straight face! LOL

   Damn you Hostess Snacks. For your hard to open wrapper prevents me from successfully obtaining the delicious content within

   playing backyard football with Betty White and Abe Vigoda....Damn!..They sure can take a tough hit.

   Cross-eyed teacher's can't control their pupils

   Wouldn't it be cool if "brownie points" could be collected and traded in for real brownies?

   not saying that "The Who" are old, but half of the people watching the superbowl last night were wondering "Who are those guys playing the CSI theme song?"

   there are two kinds of facebook friends... the kind on FarmVille and the kind you like.

   good girls blush when they watch porn but bad girls smile coz they know they can do better!!! ;-)

   February. It's not a leap year, but feel free to take a flying one anyway.

   I laugh in the face of danger, then I hide until it goes away.

   finds it sad that the Who's hit single, "Who Are You," has a whole new meaning -- Alzheimers

   "Yeah, I'm on faithbook." -Mike Tyson

   i dont know much about pies, but daaaaamn you make my banana cream!

   wondering if when geriatrics Roger Daltry and Pete Townshend sing, "Who are you?" it has a whole different meaning now.

   Golf is a good walk ruined

   thinks her Chia Pet has rabies

   living in a pineapple under the sea

   supports the elderly by watching the Superbowl Halftime show.

   "The greatest ironies of life: having the right person at the wrong time, having the wrong person when the time is right, and finding out that you love someone after that person walks out of your sight ...."