Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   Cancer is like being on an airplane falling from the sky and praying that the pilot can pull it out.

   I really think it's time to take the warning labels off everything and let stupidity work itself out of the gene pool.

   If I truly posted what was on my mind, I'd most likely be in a psychiatric hospital right now.

   First rule of family gatherings, always bring your own vehicle so you can leave when you want.

   Yes,but Where on Eileen ?

   Anyone under 6ft 4 who wants to use an Umbrella in a crowd should have to do a cour

   Black Friday special!!! Stay at home and save 100%.

   Dear 11-21-24 6:48, no one is trying break into any bathrooms its a bathroom not fort knox

   13% of the population represented by the media as 50%

   The 👎 blowboy needs a life.

   They use their skin color as an excuse. It's their lack of culture and animalistic behavior that actually defines them.

   Being human requires no apologies. Being a jerk does.

   I'm not a geologist so don't take me for granite.

   In an effort to repay her $20 million campaign debt, Kamala Harris has scheduled a fight with Jake Paul.

   Thanksgiving is just around the corner. Don't forget to set your scales back 10 pounds.

   When the moon hits your eye Like it’s 5:45, That’s November

   Has anyone noticed that the folks who claim,, "Eating turkey on Thanksgiving is cruel and unethical", just happen to also be the "Pro-Choice" crowd?

   Why are there no biological women trying to break into Men's bathrooms?

   This Christmas instead of gifts I'm giving everyone my opinion. Get excited!

   The 4Bs explained: Bread, Bacon, Beef, Bread. Make me a sammich.