Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Page: 5490 of 6446

Does anyone know the over under on people getting trampled to death at the Great Wal-Mart of China next week?
←Rate |
11-17-2010 08:13 by Hot Tea
Comments (0)

's sister asked if the dress she was wearing made her ass look big... I told her No!....it was all the crap she ate that made it look big
←Rate |
11-17-2010 05:57
Comments (1)

Why do they call it “getting your dog fixed” if afterwards it doesn't work anymore?
←Rate |
11-17-2010 05:56
Comments (0)

Why are Softballs hard?
←Rate |
11-17-2010 05:56
Comments (0)

Why is an alarm clock going “off” when it actually turns on?
←Rate |
11-17-2010 05:53
Comments (0)

What was the best thing before sliced bread?
←Rate |
11-17-2010 05:51
Comments (0)

How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
←Rate |
11-17-2010 05:50
Comments (0)

How can there be self-help “groups”?
←Rate |
11-17-2010 05:48
Comments (0)

If my mind can conceive it, and my heart can believe it, I know I can achieve it.

I want to make you feel like your the only girl in the world LOL jks I got ho's, in different area codes!!

hopes Prince Harry doesn't wear one of his special party costumes to his brother's nuptuals.
←Rate |
11-17-2010 02:56
Comments (0)

Thursday is on my mind Facebook!! Now stop asking me that and go bug someone else!!!
←Rate |
11-17-2010 02:42
Comments (0)

On a scale of 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10 how OCD are you?
←Rate |
11-17-2010 01:55
Comments (0)

Dear Santa.... All I want is access to that "bad boy's" list of yours.
←Rate |
11-17-2010 01:35
Comments (1)

Today is National Facebook Unfriend Day. I hope you make it to tomorrow as my friend. I just want you to know I'm pulling for you.
←Rate |
11-17-2010 00:29 by The FRED
Comments (0)

Forget scholarships and honor societies - the highest academic complement is getting an awesome grade on a paper you half-assed at four in the morning the day it was due.
←Rate |
11-17-2010 00:04
Comments (1)

won't just hit the spot. He will kill the spot & dress inappropriately at the spots funeral.
←Rate |
11-16-2010 23:31
Comments (0)

has a new slogan for TSA: Can't see London, can't see France, unless we see your underpants!!!
←Rate |
11-16-2010 23:21 by DAYAM
Comments (0)

Been thinking of things I could do today, leaning towards going to Victoria's Secret and looking around.
←Rate |
11-16-2010 23:09
Comments (0)

A grown man making snow angels in the yard shouldn't be so strange...dressed in a clown suit playing the bagpipes sure as hell made it weird.
←Rate |
11-16-2010 23:01
Comments (0)