Tjshome.com
Funny Status Messages
Submit Status
TJ's Blog
Image Filters
Contact US
Submit a Status Message
Funny Status Messages and Tweets
Funny Status Messages for Facebook, Discord, and Whatsapp and funny tweets for Twitter.
Sort:
Recent
|
Oldest
|
Rating
Search Messages:
«Prev
«1
149
150
151
152
153
154
155
156
6446
Next»
Page: 153 of 6446
I get it roosters, I scream when I wake up in the morning too
12
88
←Rate |
10-09-2022 06:39
Comments (
0
)
I would learn how to backflip but i’m saving spinal injuries for after i’m 60
11
67
←Rate |
10-09-2022 06:37
Comments (
0
)
Thinking about the time I bought 90s CDs in goodwill, only to come out to my car and realize I don’t even have a CD player…
3
71
←Rate |
10-09-2022 06:36
Comments (
0
)
I called the fire dept to get my cat out of a tree and they said they don’t do that so I told them them he had a lighter.
5
71
←Rate |
10-09-2022 06:32
Comments (
0
)
Yeah. It's OK for you to call my pets "Fur Babies" but if I call your kid a "Skin Dog" you get angry.
7
70
←Rate |
10-08-2022 22:06
Comments (
0
)
Jeffrey Dahmer's bologna had a first name , it was Steven !
1
95
←Rate |
10-08-2022 08:24 by
DJJIMBOFUNATANYBAR
Comments (
0
)
You know you are working too hard when you go to make a call from your home telephone and first dial 9.
3
44
←Rate |
10-08-2022 06:05
Comments (
0
)
Spotted a house tonight with their Christmas lights already up in October and can only imagine that they work for Walmart.
5
42
←Rate |
10-08-2022 01:05
Comments (
0
)
Don't let a gerbil talk you into anything you don't want to do
3
59
←Rate |
10-07-2022 06:37 by
DJJIMBOFUNATANYBAR
Comments (
0
)
Dear YouTube: Just because I watched one video on how to change the oil in my car does not mean I want to watch a thousand other videos just like it. -Me
4
64
←Rate |
10-06-2022 08:07
Comments (
0
)
Find a girl that takes care of you, like the press takes care of Joe Biden.
38
95
←Rate |
10-04-2022 19:40 by
740MM
Comments (
0
)
I get my exercise by pushing the limits of those around me.
11
88
←Rate |
10-04-2022 06:47 by
UrMom
Comments (
0
)
Talking to some people is as frustrating as trying to eat applesauce with chopsticks.
8
92
←Rate |
10-04-2022 06:46 by
UrMom
Comments (
0
)
Why bother drinking water? You're just gonna pee it out. This is what Big Water doesn't want you to know.
13
89
←Rate |
10-03-2022 10:08
Comments (
0
)
Great job keeping crap out of my eye, eyelash that's currently in my eye.
9
87
←Rate |
10-03-2022 09:10
Comments (
0
)
Some of your behaviour is completely embarrassing but highly entertaining. Carry on.
13
88
←Rate |
10-03-2022 09:09
Comments (
0
)
If she farts in front of your parents repeatedly just for the reaction then she's a keeper.
11
94
←Rate |
10-03-2022 09:07
Comments (
0
)
My congressman just wrote to tell me if I don't re-elect him, whatever-scares-me-most will probably happen. Send money.
8
85
←Rate |
10-03-2022 09:05
Comments (
0
)
Give your tweets a CB radio feel by adding the word, over at the end. Over.
7
87
←Rate |
10-03-2022 09:02
Comments (
0
)
I just threw a rock at a guy who was getting Subway breakfast. He understood why.
6
68
←Rate |
10-03-2022 09:01
Comments (
0
)
«Prev
«1
149
150
151
152
153
154
155
156
6446
Next»
Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:
X says
X is
X was
X has
X
...
characters left
Read the Rules
Site Links
Home
Funny Status Messages
Status Message Generator
TJ's Blog
About Tjshome
Contact Us
Privacy
© 1999 - 2021 Tjshome.com